Kiss and a Miss
by Lisa Telramor
Summary: Akako has the perfect love potion...she just needs a kiss to seal the deal. onesided Akako/Kaito


**For the prompt Kaito-Akako: Enchanted. Is Akako her own warning? Consider her her own warning.**

 **o*O*o**

Kaito stared at the cup Akako held out to him. He had an expression like he expected it to rear up and bite him, or perhaps like its contents were poisoned. Akako smiled sweetly and kept her hand extended.

"What is it?" Kaito asked.

"Fruit juice," Akako said. She held up a thermos in her other hand, sloshing its contents. "I thought I'd bring some in to share."

"It's really good!" Aoko said from the next desk over, an identical plastic cup in her hands. "Thanks for sharing Koizumi-chan!"

"It's not poisoned," Akako said, dark amusement coiling in her as he still hesitated. "Nakamori-chan and I are drinking the same juice."

"Right. Just you two?"

"Well, we are something like friends, aren't we, Kuroba-kun?"

He took the juice, staring her down like he was calling a bluff. "If this turns me into something or contains hallucinogens or some shit, I am pranking the heck out of you later."

Akako laughed. "It's just juice, Kuroba-kun." Mostly just juice. Juice and a bit of potion that only worked on men, but Kuroba didn't need to know that. She smirked as he took a cautious sip. Kaito quirked a brow.

"…huh, actually tastes good."

"I'm insulted that you think I'd offer you something bad."

"Yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the juice I guess."

Akako smiled and left him and Aoko to their lunches again. Perfect. Now that he'd drank the juice, she just needed to kiss him and he would be hers for all eternity.

*o*

"Kuroba-kun," Akako said, her literature book and notes in one hand as she leaned against Kaito's desk. "I was wondering if you could help me with one of the metaphors in this novel."

"What metaphor?" Kaito asked, as on guard as he had been earlier.

"This one here…" She opened to a page she'd marked earlier, finger tracing against the line. She held the book at an angle, forcing Kaito to lean forward to see what she meant.

"Uh." He narrowed his eyes at it.

Akako leaned closer. "The commentary section at the end of the book points out the passion in the scene, but the language is a bit archaic…"

Kaito started to lean away and Akako followed.

"Could you explain?"

"Um. Yeah, that scene is." He was blushing and actually flustered. Akako kept her expression open and curious even as she pressed her arms against her chest at an angle for the most cleavage effect. He was distracted. Good.

"Yes?"

"You should probably ask someone—" Akako leaned in further—

"Oh, that scene?" Aoko cut in, leaning over Kaito's shoulder and into Akako's space, effectively blocking her entirely. "It's a metaphor for sex."

Akako sighed internally. "Is it? I don't think I've heard that one before. Thank you Nakamori-chan." For nothing. Dammit. There went that attempt…

*o*

"Kuroba-kun, you have something on your—" Akako's eyes widened as Kaito leaned back so fast to avoid her hand that he knocked his chair over and did half a flip onto the desk behind him.

He stared at her, eyes huge. The rest of the class stared back, Akako included. She cleared her throat. "I was going to say, you had a bit of chocolate at the corner of your mouth," she said.

Kaito scrubbed a quick sleeve over his face. "Cool, thanks, let's just pretend this didn't happen."

"…right…"

*o*

Akako took a breath. This time would work. She wasn't going to approach Kaito to engage with him—clearly that only put him on guard. She was going to go more subtle this time… Her volunteer (decoy, foolishly enamored follower) gushed to her about her greatness to which Akako responded with only a fraction of her attention and focus. The rest was narrowed down on Kaito's location relative to her own and the exact number of steps left before she put her plan into motion.

 _Four…three…two…now!_ Akako tripped, one foot catching on the other and sending her flying down the last few stairs in Kaito's direction. He looked up at her gasp. Yes. Good. That made things easier—!

Akako shrieked as he jumped to the side rather than catching her like a sane human being. She rolled to cancel most of the momentum, but her shoulder was going to be bruised to hell and back.

"Akako-sama!" the decoy wailed. "Akako-sama are you okay?!"

"Wow, since when are you clumsy?" Kaito asked, looking down at her.

He didn't even offer her a hand up! Akako shoved the hair from her eyes and glared up at him. This was all his fault. If he would just let her kiss him…! Her view was cut off as half a dozen boys crowded around her to offer her help. Because they clearly knew how to treat a woman and weren't insensitive boors that dodged a lady in apparent distress. Akako milked the bruises for all they were worth. After that embarrassing attempt, she deserved a bit of pampering.

*o*

Since subtle wasn't working, she went for blunt. "Kuroba, I need to talk to you." No polite niceties. No simpering or playing up her looks. Serious. Direct.

"Right now?" He didn't look nervous like the last few times. Serious didn't set him off it seemed. Good.

Everyone was packing to go home, so yes, it had to be now. "I need a favor."

And there was the wariness. "What kind of favor are we talking about?"

Akako licked her lips. "One I have to ask somewhere less public."

Curiosity warred with caution in his eyes. "Can it wait a few minutes?"

"I suppose," Akako said sourly. It shouldn't be that hard to get him to kiss her. The juice was supposed to make him more agreeable to romantic advances all around, but he seemed twice as nervous instead. This was ridiculous.

"Great! Let me just…" He cut off, looking over her shoulder.

"What…?"

Nakamori Aoko loomed looking furious, mop in hand and a lunch box in the other. "Kaaaaiiiitooooo…..!" she growled.

"Uh oh." He gathered his things in a flash.

Aoko's mop started swinging. "You!" _Smack!_ "Ate! _" Whap!_ "My!" _Thwack!_ "Dinner!" The mop came down so hard where Kaito had been an instant before that it took a small chunk out of one of the desks. Kaito danced and weaved around it. "You knew I didn't have time today to get dinner!"

"Ack!" Kaito flattened himself to the ground before rolling away. "I forgot! I thought it was an extra snack!"

"You owe me a meal!"

Aoko swung her mop and Kaito dodged the wrong direction—right into Akako. Akako barely had time to process that Kaito had dodged _toward_ her rather than away before his face smacked into hers. It was less a lip lock and more a bruising mash of lips and teeth. Akako landed in a heap for the second time today, only now with added Kaito-weight on top of her. She was pretty sure her lip was bleeding.

Aoko's mop clattered to the ground.

"Owwww…." Kaito groaned. He squinted in pain, whirling on Aoko. "What the heck, Ahoko!"

Akako touched her lips. Yes, still bruised and yes, a bit of blood where the inside of her lip knocked against her front teeth. But more importantly, if she had kissed Kaito, why wasn't he instantly enamored with her as the center of his universe? She narrowed her eyes, grabbed Kaito's collar and pulled him into a proper fucking kiss.

He squeaked. So did Aoko. She thought she heard Hakuba's voice say, "I win the bet." When she pulled back, Kaito looked somewhere between mortified and terrified and not at all in love with her. It figured.

"What the hell?!"

"Get off me, Kuroba-kun," she sighed.

"You can't just kiss people like that!"

Akako patted his shoulder. "Consider it payback for all the times you've looked up Nakamori-chan's skirt."

He went red at that. Akako was too drained to relish his loss of composure. Aoko—and most of the class were staring.

"I guess that is a rejection," she said to the class at large. "I might not recover from it."

This garnered the proper response of men rushing to reassure her that no, she was wonderful and anyone would be lucky to have her! Public humiliation on its way to being made right, she marked this down as yet another failed attempt at ensnaring Kaito's heart and mind. She'd come up with a less complicated plan next time.

Akako touched her lips. Well. At least she got a kiss for her troubles.


End file.
